Hoard Everything

May 30, 2012

These commitment free days are not working out so well for me. My idle mind has led me to slip towards a sort of hoarder mentality. Heeding the words of warning from those women who have gone before me in “having a new baby” stakes, their advice has been clear, “for the first couple of months, all you will do is feed and change nappies (diapers), feed and change nappies. Shower? Forget it. Shopping? Forget it. Sleep? Hah! Never heard of it.” So in my desperation to retain some sort of life control following the arrival of baby Shinkins-Doyle, I have decided to hoard. Hoard like a squirrel preparing for hibernation. Hoard like we’re on the brink of war. Hoard like a hoarder straight from the tv show “Hoarders. You name it, I’m hoarding it. Paper towels, toilet paper, show gel, shampoo, poultry and beef products. Canned goods, dog and cat food (for the dogs and cat obviously). I’ve even spent about an hour yesterday (30 minutes each side) hoarding myself a tan. Yes, this baby may in fact have big plans to fully consume our lives upon its arrival, but I am here to let baby know that I, much like Yoda, am so much older and wiser, so both we and the animals refuse to go without the luxury of toilet paper, clean hair, eating or rocking some sort of Irish tan (a tan that is a just a few shades darker than ghostly pale) this summer. You see, I am fully sold on the delusion that through this whole experience, I will somehow manage to remain in complete control.

Dexter’s absolute shock at my recent hoarding behaviors.

One Response to “Hoard Everything”

  1. Regina says:

    I absolutely love Michelle and Keith’s engagement photos. You truly captured their personalities, and I cannot wait to see the wedding pictures.

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