Archive for May, 2012

Hoard Everything

May 30, 2012

These commitment free days are not working out so well for me. My idle mind has led me to slip towards a sort of hoarder mentality. Heeding the words of warning from those women who have gone before me in “having a new baby” stakes, their advice has been clear, “for the first couple of months, all you will do is feed and change nappies (diapers), feed and change nappies. Shower? Forget it. Shopping? Forget it. Sleep? Hah! Never heard of it.” So in my desperation to retain some sort of life control following the arrival of baby Shinkins-Doyle, I have decided to hoard. Hoard like a squirrel preparing for hibernation. Hoard like we’re on the brink of war. Hoard like a hoarder straight from the tv show “Hoarders. You name it, I’m hoarding it. Paper towels, toilet paper, show gel, shampoo, poultry and beef products. Canned goods, dog and cat food (for the dogs and cat obviously). I’ve even spent about an hour yesterday (30 minutes each side) hoarding myself a tan. Yes, this baby may in fact have big plans to fully consume our lives upon its arrival, but I am here to let baby know that I, much like Yoda, am so much older and wiser, so both we and the animals refuse to go without the luxury of toilet paper, clean hair, eating or rocking some sort of Irish tan (a tan that is a just a few shades darker than ghostly pale) this summer. You see, I am fully sold on the delusion that through this whole experience, I will somehow manage to remain in complete control.

Dexter’s absolute shock at my recent hoarding behaviors.

Maternity Leave

May 28, 2012

I’m officially on maternity leave. I’ve handed in my scrubs, my office key and parking pass to the manager of the doctors office I’ve worked at for the past 4 years, and I have to say, it stung, A LOT. I’ve loved every second of my time there, working alongside people I consider more than friends, but rather family. A well oiled, never a dull moment, often times dysfunctional family, but hey, thats just the way I like em ;) . My photo shoots have also wrapped up until July, so now I can completely focus on getting ready (mentally and physically) for the arrival of baby Shinkins-Doyle. Only one problem, I’m feeling completely lost and for want of a better word, a little bored. I’m so use to being busy. To juggling several projects at once. To running around like a mad women, shouting about how there are never enough hours in the day and now, now that I’ve cleared my calendar of commitments, I feel like a tourist in my own world, complete with backpack, map and absolutely no grasp of the local language.

Now I know all you moms out there are screaming at the computer monitor, trying to warn me to savor these aimless moments, cos very soon, hopefully 2 weeks from now, the world as The Husband and I know it, is about to get turned on its head and from here until eternity, I will never have a second to myself again. So this is why I’m persevering, resisting the temptation to fill my plate with assignments and projects and forcing myself to enjoy these commitment free final weeks.

Here are a couple of other crazy kids who should definitely bask in the stable life they have come to know and enjoy, cos a few weeks from now, their world is about to get flipped on its head too.

Shoes Are The Enemy

May 24, 2012

I’ve alway been a big fan of footwear. From the second I took my first steps, you were pretty much guaranteed to find me rummaging through my mothers wardrobe, stealing her heels so I could sashay around the house acting all toddler mature, trying to hold “grown up” conversations with my line up of stuffed toys and refusing the advances of my older bothers Action Man figurine. Oh yes, I’ve always had quite the imagination and an innate ability to talk to myself. Adorable between the ages of 3-8 yrs old, but beyond that and the world is quick to whip its head around and give you a look that screams “daaang, that b*#ch is crazy” and its possible the world may have a point.

These days however, the relationship between me and my precious footwear has become strained. My ever growing Buddah has made it so. Its slim pickins all around as I alternate between flip-flops and ballet flats. Anything with a lace, buckle or fancy strap is now the enemy. I just don’t have the 9.5 minutes it takes per foot, nor the flexibility to navigate such complexities up and around my stomach and onto my feet. And lets not even mention the effect such a task has on my breathing. One would be excused for assuming I was on the finally approach to the submit of Mount Everest, sans oxygen tank. Yes, right now the smallest of tasks feel completely insurmountable and for someone who is largely independent, fiercely opinionated and stubborn, I fear I may be coming dangerously close to a point where I’ll be forced to swallow my pride and start leaning on The Husband as my official shoe put’er on’er, as well as the designated glass of water getter, and quite possibly the certified hoister of anything and everything I need to be hoisted out of i.e bed, or off of i.e couch.

Dog Ate My Homework

May 21, 2012

I’ve been trying to improve the frequency of my blogging. Its not going well, just in case you hadn’t noticed. I could offer a long list of creative excuses as to why, but unfortunately the creative juices are not flowing tonight, so I’m gonna go with the old reliable “dog ate my homework” and just promise to try and work harder in the future.

Speaking of work, here is a visual update on the house. Not a huge amount of progress due to 3 solid days of rain last week, but in the name of positivity, its progress nonetheless.

What do you say when someone has listened to you stress and vent about how you are so not ready for the arrival of your first born? When they have sat across from you over dinner and coffee (tea in my case) and nodded along to your 5 minute soliloquy on the worlds apparent shortage of bassinet blankets. When they have not only provided a sounding board for your frustration and offloading, but actually took it upon themselves to become part of the solution to said worlds shortage of bassinet blankets by selflessly spending their free evenings over the past 2 weeks, making you your very own, much needed, totally customized blanket. What do you say, when “Thank You” feels like its not enough?

I have the most amazing friends and clients and Jennifer, one of my fabulous brides from last year, is the lady responsible for pimping out baby Shinkins-Doyle’s bassinet with this kickass blanket, and I cannot even begin to thank her enough for her thoughtfulness. Seriously. Jennifer, your a rock star, f’real and we (baby bump and I) love love love it. I’m planning to pack it in my hospital suitcase to make sure baby leaves the hospital in the utmost of original style.